appleofhiseye: (Kacip fatimah)
Shirayuki | Apple ([personal profile] appleofhiseye) wrote 2013-02-09 02:55 am (UTC)

A bit, yes! She’s only recently been self-aware enough to notice that she’s changed her own tactics too. She came into Sapphire with the idea that she helps people and heals people, she doesn’t hurt them! So she was willing to run into traffic to protect other people and the teammates she broached the subject with were of the same mind. I don’t remember the thread but she was also informed that sometimes people die in bad games, but Sapphire hadn’t died (outside of Mal). And if I recall correctly there were a few trauma games before Jabberwock’s, but they were able to work their way around them (?) (I could be remembering wrong). Overall it gave her confidence that they could work their way around the tough games and still be able to help people.

AND THEN THEY DIED and dying sucked? But she didn’t regret it; she more…regretted that so many people were upset by it. She might have handled it better if there hadn’t been a lot of conflict around it afterwards. And the conflict around it distressed her because she’d thought they were all on the same page about it. Finding out they weren't on the same page was baffling and more than a little distressing. Dying…did really suck, and she felt Sapphire’s stance shift from that (and the Cry Wolf game).

Up until that point, and I THINK up until her heart game (my mental timeline is skewed though so I might be off) she would provide input but in the end it would always be Red, Mau, or Selenia making that final decision and providing a rational response to whatever they were presented with. But then she hit a point where she started making her point more known and being excessively stubborn about her choices, even the ones she knew were rash. This was in the same general timeframe when she felt Selenia’s ideals shift (after the Cry Wolf game, basically) and he’s usually the one ALWAYS present during games with her. Having him not be on the same page as her (and kind of feeling like not all of Sapphire was on the same page anymore) and feeling a slight shift in the way they approached games made her want to reaffirm what she believes in. Mostly because she still holds “protect others at all costs” as a big ideal and wants to keep holding that as an ideal despite dying for it (or rather because she died for it), but “defy the Personae and their stupid games” is another factor, but that’s her frustration towards the games in general since like, Wonderland.

But she thinks at the core of it all their ideals are the same—that is, they want to try to protect everyone as much as possible! With the turnover, though, she also recognizes that not all of the newer teammates (of which there are 4, now) are willing to sacrifice themselves for the sake of others. Which is fair! And she doesn’t want to force anyone into that, because if they don’t want to do it then they shouldn’t have to! Plus their tactics have shifted a bit because everyone’s just…tired. So there’s a vague apathy towards games and not caring if they fight back or not because they just want to get through it so it’s done and over with. But it’s shifted from “everyone on Sapphire arguing over who gets to run into traffic” to “Apple stop running into traffic please” <- As she sees it, at least! That obviously does not necessarily indicate the actual shift in thinking, just her perception of it. And the perception that wanting to help people is a problem rather than something that they collectively want to do.

That was more about Apple than Sapphire as a whole I’M SORRY…She tends to view everyone on the team as a separate individual rather than as a collective “Sapphire” so it turns into what she thinks of how each team member approaches games as opposed to how they collectively approach games. On that note (and to continue being long-winded about the topic) she sees the shift because of the individuals that are and aren’t in the games a lot. Like Mau is someone who helps her calm down and think rationally about a situation, but he can’t play in games with them anymore. Selenia is almost always in games with her and put himself up as the decision maker as often as he can, so if his views on how to approach games shift then it makes a big impact! Likewise Red is a decision maker but he isn’t always in games and it’s not like she always agrees with him either, but his presence tends to mean they strive more to break the system or refuse the rules of the game.

...I like this question REVERSE FOR ESTELLE. Or, how does Estelle see her role in games, and has that changed or shifted? It's very different for a knight as opposed to someone on a team, so I'm curious!

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